Wifey Wednesdays

Hello and welcome to Wifey Wednesdays, a podcast for women who are seeking to be the best wives they can be. I’m your host, Emily Hatfield, and this is the show where the plan is always to do things God’s way, especially our marriages.

Today’s episode is going to look at a very familiar woman to us — Eve, the first woman created. There has been much said about Eve and there is much to say, especially as we look today at the power of leadership. Now, if you’ve been following our positive negative cycle, then you know that while that title sounds positive, we are actually in a negative in our cycle at the moment. But that’s part of the problem, right?

Eve was created to be a helper suitable for Adam. Eve was never intended to be lesser than. Eve was also not ever intended to be exactly the same as. She is a complement to Adam. From their anatomy to their functionality, Adam and Eve are to complement one another. But all of that goes awry when Eve goes after the fruit, hands it to Adam, and they both go headfirst into sin.

1 Timothy 2 tells us that Adam was formed first, then Eve. We also know that Eve was deceived and became a transgressor. But Adam was not deceived…Adam knew what God had said but chose to go along with his wife. It is for that reason that the verses in 1 Timothy 2, preceding that section in verses 13-14, say that women are to be quiet and submissive learners. Within our homes, wives are to be submissive to our husbands - Ephesians 5. And it seems that was always the intention — Adam was formed first, then Eve. Adam should have led, but Eve led Adam and she led him to sin.

What if Adam had done his job as husband and led Eve away from the tree? Why were they nearby? Why were they close enough for the serpent to come and entice her? Scripture teaches us that QUOTE - each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire, James 1:14. Perhaps Eve was already being lured in the direction of the tree and the serpent capitalizes on this opportunity. Perhaps her desires were already placed on how good the fruit looked and how beautiful it was and how seemingly pleasant it appeared to be.

For whatever reason - Eve falls into temptation and ultimately, into sin, and then gives the fruit to her husband and he eats, too. Eve was deceived — she doesn’t seem to grasp the gravity of what is going to happen, but Adam? Adam wasn’t deceived. Adam went into this eyes wide open. God said do this, Eve says do that…and he chose Eve.

I am afraid that sometimes, as wives, we use this same power over our husbands. I have heard CHRISTIAN women say that we are to be the necks that turn the head of our husbands and use our influence over them to turn them in certain directions. Ooooh please be careful, sisters. We are not meant to be leading — even if it’s in a covert way. We are meant to arrange ourselves under. It is not that we are lesser than. It is not that we mean less or have worse opinions. It is not that we aren’t as smart or as spiritual. It is that we have arranged ourselves under the leadership of Christ and, since He has told us that we are to submit, then we do. We arrange ourselves under the leadership of our husbands. When we walked through the door of marriage, we agreed before God that we would do things His way. That we would not lead. That we would not insist upon our own way. That we would not seek to lead from the neck, but that we would seek to follow and to be led as willing and submissive participants.

But being in control — that’s tempting. That’s sometimes easy. It’s sometimes the default. Our husbands often want our opinion, or maybe often don’t want to step into their leadership role. But just because they vacate their spot in God’s leadership design doesn’t mean that we step in and find ourselves sinning alongside of them by vacating our role.

God has placed men in the position of leadership within the church and within the home. Again, it isn’t because women are less than. It isn’t because we aren’t as smart or as capable. It is because you cannot have two heads. You cannot have two competing leaders. You must have a leader and a supporter. You must have both, working in health, to make a healthy whole.

I am reminded of Jesus, who - even though He was God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped. And so He emptied Himself into the form of a bondservant, coming to earth as a human and submitting Himself to the Father’s will. If Jesus, equal with God, could become a human and become a servant….can I, as a wife, not also stoop down and let go of the equality I have with my husband and instead submit to His headship? Can I let go of the need to be treated exactly the same as and trust that God will care for me and provide for me in the position He has placed me in?

It takes vulnerability to willingly arrange yourself under someone, especially under someone who isn’t perfect. Who might be domineering sometimes. Who might flex his leadership. Who might not always get it right. But Jesus submitted. Jesus put Himself into a vulnerable position in order that we might be saved. And God provided. It looked different than we might have thought, but it was ultimately for God’s glory. The same will be true of us. It might look different than we think, but if we will be women who are submissive and God-honoring, then He will be glorified, and that’s the whole point of our wifedom. The whole point of who we are as Christian women is to bring glory to our Father and to our Savior and to the Spirit. For whatever reason, we were created as female. In God’s perfect design and desire for me, I trust that He has arranged me exactly as I need to be. I will trust in His design that I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I will trust that I can fully embrace being a woman, without desiring to be in a man’s position, and be God-honoring. I don’t have to be the leader in my home to have influence. I don’t have to be the leader in my church to have influence. Jesus came as a servant, and His is the most influential life ever lived. If I will seek to serve instead of be served - if I will choose to follow God’s lead instead of insisting on my own way, then God will be glorified even through someone as insignificant as me….God will be glorified in my tiny family in my tiny corner of the world if I will simply do things His way.

As the Maker and Creator of everything, I trust in His design. If He designed for women to be the complementary partners, arranging themselves under their husbands as a support and encouragement, then I will do all that I can to live up to the purpose for which I was designed. I will pray that I can stop insisting it be all about me. I will pray that I can stop seeking to be the exact same as my husband and to have the exact same job. I will pray that God give me a heart that doesn’t want to lead my family, but wants to serve my family and thus influence them for Jesus in my quiet and gentle way. Does that mean I don’t have a voice? Of course not. Does that mean my needs don’t matter? Of course not. God’s design for the home is that we take care of each other while He takes care of us all. And so, for my bit, I want to learn from the negative example of Eve. I want to keep myself away from things that might tempt me. I want to keep myself away from things that might promote this need to be in charge. I want to keep my eyes off of things that will tempt me to do things differently than God wants me to. I want to keep distance between me and the devil. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus, the perfect example of what it means to willingly arrange oneself under. None of us would ever say Jesus was less than. He wasn’t less than God. He wasn’t without value; He made Himself lower. He stooped in order to serve. May we posture our lives in that same way.

Submission is hard. I’m sure Jesus would be the first to acknowledge that as we go to Him as our advocate on the matter. But, He shows us the beauty in submission. He shows us the value of submitting. He shows us the way. We can be sure that following after Him, while it may be difficult, will be worth it every single time.

Thank you for joining me for today’s episode; I hope you’ll be with me next time as we look to yet another powerful woman and see how we can apply the principles and examples from her life to our own.

Thanks again for listening and until next time remember -love God, love your husband.